Barbarella vs. Octopussy



Jane Fonda would've made a badass Bond bitch. I don't think Octupussy is as good as Barbarella, but it's definitely one of the best, if not the best, pre Licence to Kill Bond film. A boat filled with bitches with their jigglies hanging out, an island populated by bitches with premium pokies, a circular saw yo-yo, gymnastics, more imaginative action (which might not be saying a lot given how banal and shitty the action in most ancient Bond films are - let's just say it contains 'good' action), plenty of Q screen time, dick jokes, a Swedish chick using her saree to revolve down a balcony. It's a little long, but the first half of the film is quality.

TEN ACTRESSES THAT I WOULD'VE LIKED TO HAVE SEEN AS BOND GIRLS - #1 Brigitte Bardot #2 Raquel Welch #3 Barbara Bouchet #4 Elke Sommer #5 Laura Gemser #6 Isabelle Adjani #7 Ann-Margret #8 Yuliya Mayarchuk #9 Haydée Politoff #10 Monica Vitti... And maybe Jane Fonda. There's something about her acting style I don't like. Anyway, I prefer Octopussy.