Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band vs. Purple Rain

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Holy crap are both of these movies terrible! Getting Prince to act is *never* a good thing. Prince acting is like using a refrigerator to cook a pizza: It's good at what it does and belongs in the same room as something that can cook a slice, but asking it to do that is beyond its capability and, quite probably, it's comprehension. The lesson here is Prince can't understand pizza. As for Sgt. Pepper, this movie is just a complete disaster. A movie featuring all Beatles music but none of the Beatles themselves, rather the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton in full disco fever; and, of their own admitting, enough cocaine to solve a small country's economic downturn. (If you're thinking that no amount of cocaine can do that, than you're not thinking of enough cocaine.) This is simply a terrible movie. They had to bring in George Burns because none of the "leads" could act out a narrative. Aerosmith is here for some reason, the plot is completely incomprehensible, and even boring! In a psychedelic disco movie! Boring! There should be so much stuff going on that it'd be impossible to look away, but I nodded off about halfway through the movie. I had to rewind it to see if I missed anything that might pass as interesting. I didn't. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and most definitely the worst musical. (I can't include Xanadu in this ranking, as I want to keep it so that I'll never have to watch that movie.) It can't even say that it's so bad it's good, because it completely goes back around to being terrible again. I guess it wasn't as close as I thought it was going to be, because right now Purple Rain has some redeeming qualities in its over the top eighties fashion. When that nostalgic latitude wears off, it' will merely be a bad movie. There is nothing in the world that will make Sgt. Pepper anything remotely close to a decent movie.

I wasn't that big on Purple Rain but it is a competent film. The biggest issue is that I couldn't sympathise with The Kid. From start to finish he was just an asshole without any redemptive qualities. I did however enjoy the music, plot and style enough to give it a pass. Sgt Peppers... oh boy...