“Jurassic World” Review: A Disappointing Devolution

David Conrad

David is the author of AKIRA KUROSAWA AND MODERN JAPAN. He has a Ph.D. in history from the University of Texas at Austin and loves period pieces, classics, and arthouse. He has also read nearly every word J.R.R. Tolkien ever wrote. https://www.amazon.com/Akira-Kurosawa-Modern-Japan-Conrad/dp/1476686742/ @davidaconrad www.facebook.com/DavidConradAuthor/

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7 Responses

  1. Daniel says:

    I just assumed Pratt’s character was there because if he quit he would have to go back to jail, or they would kill his daughter. Something silly like that. Don’t make us send you back to the Navy where your odds of dying would go down dramatically.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I want to see it, but sounds not great.

  3. Holly(Woods) says:

    I’m planning to see this Saturday or Monday…haven’t decided. Though I’m not quite sure what to expect now after having read this review. I vastly preferred Jurassic 2 over number 3…since you seem to prefer those two movies in the opposite order, it’s left me curious how I’ll enjoy Jurassic World. Either way, it was interesting to read this and I’m going to have to come back and give it a second read-through after I see the movie.

    • Aaaaand that was the wrong account to post from. Whoops. Note to self: in future check which wordpress account I’m commenting with since they both share the same picture but only one of them has my actual name. Or maybe one account is mine and one account is the horse’s. Who knows. Maybe Cody is just an avid Jurassic Park fan and she’s never told me ;-)

    • David Conrad says:

      My apparent preference of 3 over 2 is mostly illusory. I could be argued out of it pretty easily, but my overall impression is that 2, 3, and 4 are all on the same low tier. I think a lot of people are arguing, with reason, that 4 is better than 2 and 3 because it’s purposefully silly and self-aware of its B-movie nature. My counterpoint to that is that it’s full of tiresome, conventional exposition, flat, tone-deaf characters, and misdirected violence, three things I wouldn’t want in a gleeful, silly popcorn movie. Its level of failure is perhaps less striking under a so-bad-it’s-good rubric than my it-should-be-good rubric, but I think it’s a big fail under both rubrics.

      Still, lots of people are enjoying it and I hope you will.

  4. lobster lover says:

    please don’t see this, just watched some of it on watch 32, and it’s horrible, that goddamn woman with the Frankie Heck from NBC’S The Middle hairdo was a pathetic human lover, every scene, going off on her goddamn, oh human life is more important then your stupid animals rant, and I don’t care for them, then she gets emotional and cries when a plant eater dies? what the fuck? that made no sense! and if you hate the dinosaurs so much, then why the fuck do you work there?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the kids were as stupid as stupid does, and clichés to a T, the older one cared about getting pussy then his brother or what was going on around him, like give me a fucking break, your around dinosaurs and all you care about is getting your dick wet in a stupid bush? pathetic movie, don’t waste your time on this, if it was written by only a man and not a fucking woman then it could of been awesome, but no, let a airhead fucking co write it so we get the stupidest things imaginable, jesus Christ, go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwhich, whore!!!!!!!!!! fucking feminist movie, I don’t need this bullshit in a Jurassic park wanna be movie, I get enough of that shit on tv, I think they should shut up about it already, it’s getting old, hell even in the 50’s nobody gave a shit, and they sure as hell don’t now. men are better, sorry but they are. fuck you feminsts, lesbians with 50 fucking cats. ugh.please don’t watch this, and what the hell was with jimmy fallons camo in the stupid hamster ball? that part was just ridicioulus! just avoid this like the plague and find something better to watch, cant believe I wasted time on this turd, when I could of been doing something else, I know my sister is gonna hate me for not liking this, but big deal, so I didn’t like it, big shit!
    it’s not like she made it! and even then I wouldn’t like it, I would be like, i’m so fucking embarrassed! it was worse then that gotham show, if that’s fucking possible, that was horrible too! yeah, you can outrun a fucking t rex or whatever the fuck it is by wearing high heels through a jungle, without falling or snapping your ankle, give me a goddamn break here! avoid this at all costs, I would rather see Max, the dog movie anyways, which is about a dog that helps soldiers in the Iraq war, then becomes guardian to a young boy, now that is something I would rush to the movies to see, not this piece of crap, there’s not much to choose from this summer, is there? it’s all shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the dinos looked like crap, that cloned t rex raptor thing looked retarded, and how could anyone think that chris pratt is hot? I didn’t find him too appealing, plus his ass looked huge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stick with the other ones, or even just the first one, it took it’s time and didn’t feel rushed, unlike this abomination. should of been aborted. that would of made things a whole lot better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck this!

    • David Conrad says:

      I don’t know if you’re being a troll or whether this comment reflects your actual thoughts (which by the way are abhorrent), but the movie is absolutely not feminist. That’s one of the biggest problems with it. It’s the most sexist mainstream movie I can remember since Temple of Doom. It has one female writer credit based on very old work from when the movie was first in pre-production.