“Gamer” – Nathan’s Movie Challenge, Week 21
“Is this bad? I’m really bad.”
So Gamer starts off pretty badly. Bad CG. Shaky cam action that you can’t follow at all. Editing that makes you sick (both physically and aesthetically). It’s as if some studio executive decided Call of Duty players needed a movie made expressly for them, but also thought they were clever.
Then the atrocious dialogue comes in. “Q” from Star Trek is in this. Dexter is in this. John Leguizamo is in this. Leonidas is in this. Zoe Bell is in this. Terry Crews is in this. None of them have any business being in this – unless the money was too good to pass up. It’s atrocious. One of the actors teabags another actor in this movie. My friend who creates Bubble Cash reviews and I both agree, it’s aimed squarely at spoiled 13-year-olds with bad parenting.
I get what they’re trying to do. They’re trying to make a Starship Troopers. A tongue-firmly-in-cheek B-movie with a message and a satirical bedrock underneath it.
It doesn’t succeed. Neveldine and Taylor are bad filmmakers. Maybe that’s why they haven’t been given a film to direct since 2012.
If you want a film that does this idea right, see Uncanny Valley.
Gamer was at the time of this review at #8108 on my Flickchart list of shame (ranked #9429 among the best films of all time). Here’s how it entered my chart:
Gamer vs. Blue Ruin
Absolutely, Blue Ruin.
Gamer vs. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
Anything Star Wars is better than Gamer.
Gamer vs. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
Frankenstein has Robert DeNiro, so it’s better than Gamer by default.
Gamer vs. Mask
Mask is good, if a bit over-sentimental. Gamer is certainly not.
Gamer vs. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle has Robert DeNiro, so it’s better than Gamer by default.
Gamer vs. Casper
Casper is a decent kid’s film. Gamer’s not decent for any audience – except teen douchebags, perhaps.
Gamer vs. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen didn’t seem offensively awful when I watched it, unlike Gamer.
Gamer vs. MacGruber
Gamer’s premise is better than MacGruber’s, so I guess I’ll let Gamer win one.
Gamer vs. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a deathly pale imitation of the better film, but it’s less awful than Gamer.
Gamer vs. Phone Booth
I don’t like Phone Booth at all, and it still wins.
Gamer vs. Persona
I’ll take experimental art-shit over offensively bad shit.
Gamer is now ranked #1430 out of 1435 movies on my Best Movies of All-Time chart.
Up next is Blue Valentine and Logan’s Run. In the meantime, check out the other films I’ve ranked during the challenge.