“Appaloosa” – Nathan’s Movie Challenge, Week 19
“Life has a way of making the foreseeable that which never happens… and the unforeseeable that which your life becomes.”
First thought: Renée Zellweger sure looks bored. Her character is also terrible – in performance and as written. I would hate to meet her character in real life. There’s nothing worse than a girl who flirts with anyone and everyone because of her own insecurities – except one played with so little enthusiasm that it makes the audience sleepy.
Second thought: Naming Ed Harris’s character Virgil took me out of the movie for some weird reason, because I’m so familiar with his other character named Virgil from my #9 film, The Abyss.
Third thought: Viggo Mortensen successfully disappears into his role as the deputy. He plays his character with the most restraint – and as a result – comes across the most convincingly.
Fourth thought: Jeremy Irons seems to be doing a very bad There Will Be Blood Daniel Day Lewis impression with his character. I distinctly get the feeling Ed Harris saw There Will Be Blood and gave Irons his only direction – “Be that guy.”
Fifth thought: I wish this was better. Everyone involved (except Mortensen) seems like they’re taking a paid vacation.
Appaloosa was at the time of this review at #2751 on my Flickchart list of shame (ranked #3718 among the best films of all time). Here’s how it entered my chart:
Appaloosa vs. Blue Ruin
Absolutely, Blue Ruin.
Appaloosa vs. Lucky Number Slevin
Lucky Number Slevin is a bit of an imitator, but it’s still clever. It’ll win over the rather dull Appaloosa.
Appaloosa vs. Dude, Where’s My Car?
Appaloosa can win based on Mortensen’s performance alone.
Appaloosa vs. The Legend of Zorro
The Legend of Zorro is a whole lot more fun, and the characters are better written. Zorro wins.
Appaloosa vs. Rambling Rose
Rambling Rose is a strange little drama starring an ultra-cute Laura Dern. I’d like to see it again. I don’t really care to ever see Appaloosa again. Rambling Rose takes the match.
Appaloosa vs. Gods and Monsters
Gods and Monsters is a bit heavy-handed with its message, but it’s a decent drama. Not sure Brendan Fraser was the best casting choice. Still more interesting than Appaloosa.
Appaloosa vs. Apt Pupil
More Ian McKellen! I remember the cat scene being pretty disturbing. It’s a lesser Stephen King adaptation, but a rather taut thriller from X-Men director Bryan Singer. Apt Pupil was his follow-up to The Usual Suspects. Anyway, it will win the battle over Appaloosa.
Appaloosa vs. Swingers
I did not like Swingers or the people in it. Appaloosa at least had some nice costuming and art direction – if not particularly great direction or acting.
Appaloosa is now ranked #1142 out of 1411 movies on my Best Movies of All-Time chart.
It’s now my 14th favorite Western I’ve seen and ranked as my #34 film of 2008.
My next batch of films will be The Passion of Joan of Arc, It Happened One Night, and The Best Years of Our Lives. In the meantime, check out the other films I’ve ranked during the challenge.