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I think both of these movies are poor representations of superhero movies that mass audiences have unfortunately embraced. But I guess out of them, I like Spider-Man better.
Both of these films are currently in my top 100. Sam Raimi does justice to the Lee/Kirby origin story while bringing Peter Parker into the 21st century. Both Raimi and Brad Bird have respect for the super hero genre and the repeat viewing factor is very high. I enjoy both of these films. However, Bird's got the jump on Raimi cuz it's one thing to tell one hero's journey, but it's quite another to delve more into the history and the geography and the destiny of the hero, and share with the audience the lives that hero touches and how he comes back to being a hero when society has stripped it all away from him. The second Spider-Man film touches on Peter Parker no longer being Spider-Man, but comparing that to the story arc of Mr. Incredible really makes this an unfair versus pairing. Peter Parker's tale has more gravitas, but Bob Parr's has more explosions. Parker versus a whole family of Supers? There's just no contest. Had Raimi been able to share with us the scope of the Marvel universe outside Peter Parker's sheltered corner, then we'd have a fight. There's simply more meat on Brad Bird's bone.
Spider-Man is good, not great, but The Incredibles is excellent.
Incredibles is one of my favorite pixar movies its in my top 100. I give it to Incredibles, Spiderman is good but nothing special.