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Two similarly enjoyable, but similarly disappointing attempts at grindhouse trash I guess. Actually, come to think of it, I consider Jessica Alba and Amber Heard to be on similar levels of hotness too (basically right at the top) and they both could've put on a greater display of TnA. Bah! Machete just wasn't funny enough and I think it couldv'e done with a zany, fucked out of his skull, Nic Cage type lead. Drive Angry could've done with more Nic Cagey Nic Cageness; I felt he was far too restrained. Damn, these are close. Maybe my hatred of Seagal could make this easier, but my cumulative dislike for The Accountant and the villain in Drive Angry sort of balances that out too.
I would classify Drive Angry as bad. Machete is more average. I'm still annoyed that Drive Angry had the sex during a gun battle scene, because I already thought it was dumb in Shoot 'Em Up. Machete had a disappointing climax. Drive Angy was never disappointing because it never showed any real promise. The Accountant was total crap.
It was dumb in Shoot 'Em Up. I hate Shoot 'Em Up for coming across as so smug/serious and eviscerating the potential for humour. The scene was basically just as dumb here, but a couple things made it much more acceptable. Firstly, the boning immediately prior to the gun-fight... Nic Cage lying there motionless with the shades and that idiotic look on his face was pretty funny I thought. Secondly, unlike Monica Bellucci's character this chick was completely unaware of the potential for a group of murderous villains to kick down the door. When she started screaming, I started to wonder if what Cage was doing to her might technically have been rape. I'm not sure that it was, but I still let slip a sardonic sot of chortle.
Drive Angry. Did we REALLY need political themes about immigration in a grindhouse movie?