By now, we’ve all had a good chuckle at the leaked Paramount memo showcasing the studio’s terrible slate of upcoming projects, including kiddie caper comedy Dunderheads and the criminally unnecessary Zoolander 2. Funny stuff, for sure, but I can’t help feel a tad slighted by this document’s instant popularity. After all, I’ve been coming up with shitty film ideas on my Twitter account, @MoviesIWannaSee, for almost a year now! Are you really gonna sit there and tell me my idea for a Jake Gyllenhaal Woodsy Owl biopic isn’t as hilariously stupid as Baywatch: The Movie? That’s cold.

To try and help remind people that I am the original shitty movie machine, I’ve compiled a brand new special list for Flickchart of wretched cinematic visions I honestly hope come to pass in my lifetime. Hopefully you Flickcharters will enjoy this selection of ideas, but honestly I’m hoping more that someone from Paramount accidentally reads this between cocaine snorts off the ol’ iPad and gives me a development deal. Fingers crossed!
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