“Why is he splitting them up?”
“Why are they so long?”
“Why must he take something we love and ruin it?”
No these are not reviews for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. They were the assumed reaction of the tens of people who read Part 1 of my 2012 wrap up; where I dissected the year of Channing Tatum, had two Lincolns square off, and looked at one of the two live action Snow White adaptations. Part 2 will start with…
2 Films, 20 Dwarfs
Snow White and the Huntsman featured Chris Hemsworth as a hunter whose prey is apparently trees since his weapon of choice is an axe, and Kristen Stewart as a Snow White who went to the distinguished school of parted lip acting. There’s a love triangle that nobody cares about – and I’m not talking about director Rupert Sanders, K. Stew, and R. Patt – and Charlize Theron acting with as much subtly as a nuclear explosion. The dwarfs were entertaining but tragically underused.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was what I expected. It’s similar to The Lord of the Rings trilogy in a lot of ways but is not as good as any of them. Where we came to know and love every character in that series we only really get to know Bilbo, Gandalf, and Thorin in this. Meanwhile there are a mess of other dwarfs that are only distinguishable by variations of hair above the neck, and sometimes that doesn’t even do enough to make them stand out. Did it need to be a trilogy? No. Is the book being dragged through the mud? More like dropped in a puddle before quickly being grabbed and dried off quickly. As long as fans of The Lord of the Rings series don’t go into it expecting it to be world shattering they should enjoy themselves. I should mention I didn’t see it in 48fps but I heard mostly negative things about it.
And the Winner Is: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - even though Peter Jackson obviously thinks “dues ex machina” is Latin for giant eagles.
Last year I decided it would be in my, and by extension your, best interest to do a year-end review in the Flickchartiest way possible. The four people who read it were very vocal about how it was an adequate way of spending their break at work therefore I decided to repeat the feat this year. Luckily for you I watched an absurd amount of movies this year – too many – and to make me feel like I didn’t waste much of my time and money I will be doing a series of battles throughout the next few weeks. To get us warmed up for the ensuing blood bath, the first movie will be about a bunch of teenagers killing each other…
Women Be Shootin’
The Hunger Games was the first big release box office wise of the year. While it seemed to satisfy most of the diehard fans of the franchise many people who hadn’t smashed through the books in 5 total days had reservations. The biggest complaint was that it took too many ideas from Battle Royale, but it also garnered a heavy amount of questions beyond potential idea borrowing. Why did the elite have such bizarre hair styles? Why did the citizens of District 12 give their children such dumb names? What the hell was going on in those shaky-cam action scenes? Am I not supposed to be disconcerted with the idea of children killing each other? Some of these complaints will be satiated by Gary Ross being replaced by a new director for the sequels. A director who hopefully doesn’t keep his camera at the end of a rope that he is swinging around in a circle above his head.
Not to be outdone in the “first” department, Brave was the first big disappointment of the year for most people. Pixar has been spoiling us for so long that when they released a movie that was simply “good” we as a society rejected it and marked it as a major let down. While it had its problems I still think it was a good movie and a nice change of pace from the normal princesses that young girls get to see in movies. It’s important that they see strong females on the screen whose sole purposes in life are not finding the perfect man.
|Rank it amongst the best action comedy movies of all time.
Flickchart Ranking: #1678
Wow, what a terrible week. We’ve been pretty spoiled lately, especially with September usually being a dumping ground, that I guess we were due for a complete stinker of a week. The limited release Stone might be good but that’s about it.
Planning to see this movie, or already have? Directly rank it against these similar movies to see where it ranks for you amongst the most romantic movies of all time:
I made it about half-way through the trailer thinking this could actually be cool. It looked like a movie about somebody who actually stole souls not people’s lives, so it would at least be interesting. Then the trailer had to go and reveal it’s just a silly serial killer slasher we’ve seen 100 times before.
Planning to see this movie, or already have? Directly rank it against these similar movies to see where it ranks for you amongst the most slasher movies of all time:
Planning to see this movie, or already have? Directly rank it against these similar movies to see where it ranks for you amongst the most sports movies of all time: