I’ve been waiting patiently for a Hampster Dance movie for over a decade. We can get a movie called the “Squeakquel“, and a spy flick starring talking guinea pigs, but I can’t watch an uplifting dance competition movie with CG hampsters that were subjected to harrowing nuclear testing? If there’s one reason for us not to trust the corporate fat cats coldly dictating which movies we do and don’t get to see annually, this is it.
We get movies based off toys, action figures, pseudo-action figures, board games, psuedo-boardgames, videogames, computer games, movies from 62 years ago, movies from 2 years ago, etc… But why haven’t they tapped into internet time-killers yet? Sure, there’s a Facebook movie coming soon, but there really isn’t much outside of that. A Farmville movie could become our generation’s “Of Mice and Men” or “The Grapes of Wrath,” themselves adaptations of the popular media of the day. The romantic comedy potential in Chatroulette is off the charts.
Flickchart is no different, and not as some distasteful Sophie’s Choice parody. It’s been a while since we had a good frustrated-13-year-old-big-sister-yells-at-baby-brother-who-then-get’s-sucked-into-a-computer-and-then-she-has-to-get-him-back-before-mom-gets-home-movie. Kinda like a digital Labyrinth but without all the David Bowie crotch bulge.
Picture it: A crazy electrical storm strikes the baby’s crib, transporting it into the nearest electronic device: the computer his sister is at, conveniently opened up to Flickchart. She grabs the crib as it gets sucked into the screen and gets pulled in too. Now they have to navigate the inner workings of the site (with the aid of Flickchart’s top users) and complete the precise movie ranking battle to get out. When the baby and sister get settled in, they find an elaborate set of clues and riddles. With the help of the top Flickchart users, they decipher the clues to follow the exact movie battle path to unlock the precise battle that will get them out. Along the way, they have to fight the evil Flickchart Server Ice Wizard – who can freeze time and all the site’s users. The movie would climax with the Server Wizard casting a spell to freeze the entire Internet and its users, while unleashing this heinous movie match-up upon the Earth: The Day After Tomorrow vs. 2012. While our heroine is completing the final riddle to unlock her ability to end the final match-up, the forces from those two films would duke it out on Earth, destroying the planet with their combined fury. The final riddle leads her to celebrity Flickchart user, Jeff Goldblum, who uses his advanced computer hacking skills to help her banish the Server Wizard to internet purgatory and beat the destructive forces of the two movies. Then they all get out of the computers and live happily ever after. The End.
Film is the most collaborative artistic medium we have. How would you imagine a Flickchart movie would unfold?
This post is part of our User Showcase series. You can find Daniel as espin39 on Flickchart. If you’re interested to submit your own story or article describing your thoughts about movies and Flickchart, read our original post for how to become a guest writer here on the Flickchart Blog.