“Why is he splitting them up?”
“Why are they so long?”
“Why must he take something we love and ruin it?”
No these are not reviews for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. They were the assumed reaction of the tens of people who read Part 1 of my 2012 wrap up; where I dissected the year of Channing Tatum, had two Lincolns square off, and looked at one of the two live action Snow White adaptations. Part 2 will start with…
2 Films, 20 Dwarfs
Snow White and the Huntsman featured Chris Hemsworth as a hunter whose prey is apparently trees since his weapon of choice is an axe, and Kristen Stewart as a Snow White who went to the distinguished school of parted lip acting. There’s a love triangle that nobody cares about – and I’m not talking about director Rupert Sanders, K. Stew, and R. Patt – and Charlize Theron acting with as much subtly as a nuclear explosion. The dwarfs were entertaining but tragically underused.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was what I expected. It’s similar to The Lord of the Rings trilogy in a lot of ways but is not as good as any of them. Where we came to know and love every character in that series we only really get to know Bilbo, Gandalf, and Thorin in this. Meanwhile there are a mess of other dwarfs that are only distinguishable by variations of hair above the neck, and sometimes that doesn’t even do enough to make them stand out. Did it need to be a trilogy? No. Is the book being dragged through the mud? More like dropped in a puddle before quickly being grabbed and dried off quickly. As long as fans of The Lord of the Rings series don’t go into it expecting it to be world shattering they should enjoy themselves. I should mention I didn’t see it in 48fps but I heard mostly negative things about it.
And the Winner Is: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - even though Peter Jackson obviously thinks “dues ex machina” is Latin for giant eagles.

Believe it or not, this summer has already brought us three movies based on comics or graphic novels. Some have done quite well for their franchises (Thor, X-Men: First Class) while others haven’t been so lucky (Priest). This weekend brings about the fourth of these films, Green Lantern, which is DC Comics first summer film since last year’s train wreck Jonah Hex. With new films in the Superman and Batman franchises on the way, Green Lantern is DC’s best bet for a hit until those other superhero monstrosities are released. But before you check out the newest superhero film of this summer, check out some of these under ranked films from the stars of Green Lantern.

Adam Sandler’s latest PG-13 Comedy. It’s a loose remake of the Walter Matthau, Ingrid Bergman and Goldie Hawn classic Cactus Flower. Did you know Nicole Kidman is in this movie? Me neither. The mere mention of her name in a trailer nowadays must kill the opening box office or something. Co-starring Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Minka Kelly, Dave Matthews and Nick Swardson.
This has to be the best weekend of releases so far this year. The year’s biggest movie so far is released, a decent looking over-the-top western comes out, and three phenomenal limited releases are on tap too.
Somehow, word is that this movie is as good as the first two, if not better. I’ve already got my tickets…
Directly Rank Against (scroll over to preview match-up):
OK, so advanced buzz on this one isn’t too hot but that cast list is pretty awesome and at 75 minutes without credits, you’re not going to waste too much of your life watching it. I’d much rather watch a short and interesting bad movie than something like the 2.5 hour Sex and the City 2 or Transformers 2.
Directly Rank Against (scroll over to preview match-up):