5 “Character vs. Character” Movies We’d Like To Watch
This weekend, franchise streams are crossing as Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice hits theaters. If you could make a Movie Character vs Movie Character crossover film, which characters would you pick? Our bloggers have a few unusual suggestions.
Robin Hood vs. King Arthur
England in the time of Camelot is a place of law and order. King Arthur has suppressed his enemies both foreign and domestic, and dispenses justice with a fair and even hand. His knights busy themselves with jousts and, apart from the occasional romantic infidelity, with the pursuit of all things good and holy. It’s an ethical and peaceful kingdom. . . but what about wealth inequality? There are still peasants, and presumably, there are taxes, too; those tournaments at Arthur’s court don’t pay for themselves. Enter Robin Hood and his Merrie Men, who like to rob from Camelot’s 1%ers. Robin is used to fighting putzes like the Sheriff of Nottingham, but how good would he be against a Lancelot or a Galahad? I’ll bet on a suit of chainmail over a bolt of Lincoln green cloth, but Robin’s ability to wage a hit-and-run guerrilla war from the boughs of Sherwood Forest might compensate for his inferior equipment. Of course, this crossover might not result in a great movie, because making two good guys fight each other isn’t an easy proposition — just ask Zack Snyder. Nevertheless, I pick Chris Pine as Arthur, Ryan Gosling as Robin Hood, Margot Robbie as Guinevere, and Kristen Stewart as a fighting Maid Marian. — David Conrad
The Spotlight Team vs. Woodward and Bernstein
This past weekend, I had the great pleasure of rewatching All The President’s Men, a movie on many minds thanks to the recent release of Spotlight and its several layers of similar approaches. There are some great scenes in Spotlight predicated on the fact that Rezendes and Robinson are worried that another paper will screw up the story if they don’t move quickly enough. That’s an interesting idea for a different story, one where dueling investigative journalist teams from equally powerful papers try to nail a story before the opposition publishes a version and renders their story redundant and irrelevant. Who better to battle The Boston Globe than The Washington Post‘s own Woodward and Bernstein? Obviously, a movie that intended to pit Sacha Pfeiffer against journalists at least thirty years her senior would have to be about a fictional scandal at an assigned time, so it’s probably for the best that they change the names and just tell a story about the chase. I’d still say that the casts of each movie, down to Robards and Schreiber, could probably come along for the ride (ignoring the fact that Robards is dead); Hoffman and Ruffalo could even have a head-scratch off. — Alex Christian Lovendahl
Voldemort vs. The Emperor
Let’s go full-on geek here at the same time as embracing the two series that meant the most to me growing up. My first inclination was to go with Harry Potter vs. Luke Skywalker. They do have an awful lot in common, after all: both thrust into a new life, discovering brand new powers that they must learn to master, both destined to face a great evil. But my fantasy “versus” film is all about having fun. And also about answering a question I’ve seen asked more than once online: who would win, a wizard or a Jedi? We can figure out later whether these two universes make sense together (spoiler alert: they probably don’t), but just pit Voldemort and his Death Eaters against the Emperor with an entire empire and fleet behind him, and we can all just sit back and watch the epic showdown. Would it be a good movie? No. Probably not. Would it be fun? Heck, yes! — Naomi Laeuchli
The Phantom of the Opera vs. Eponine Thenardier
At first, I couldn’t think of any answers to this question, but suddenly I realized there was a crossover pairing that has been in my heart for over half my life. As an angsty teenager, the two characters I related to most were the Phantom of the Opera (or Erik, as he is known in many versions) and Eponine Thenardier, the girl in unrequited love with Marius in Les Miserables. Both were classic literary characters for stories that have several screen adaptations. Both were characters I first discovered in musical theatre. Both were disliked by the world around them and fell in love with someone they knew deep down would never love them back. (One threatened to destroy all of Paris if their loved one didn’t choose them, but we’ll gloss over that part for now, just like I did as a teen.)
As absorbed as I was in these tragic love stories, I knew that the Phantom and Christine were never meant to be together, nor were Eponine and Marius. And so, to get rid of that eternal pining, 13-year-old Hannah wrote a long detailed piece of fan fiction that mashed together these two worlds so that Christine and Marius ended up together, as did their loves Raoul and Cosette… and, of course, Erik and Eponine found in each other the one person who would understand them.It’s a silly crossover from the mind of an angsty teenage girl. . . but somehow I still want these worlds to fit together. I’ve seen multiple film interpretations of both of these characters, and there hasn’t been one that didn’t make me contemplate how differently things could have gone if only Eponine Thenardier had somehow improbably wandered into the Opera House and (even more improbably) discovered the Phantom’s lair and made a friend. — Hannah Keefer
John Wick vs. Inspector Tequila
This matchup feels like an absolute natural to me, especially given that I don’t think there would even BE a John Wick without Tequila. John Wick borrows heavily from Hard Boiled, at least in the realm of gunplay. That’s why I feel this mashup would make a great movie. Tequila, now retired, glimpses Wick in action and hears the call to action to bring this hitman to justice. Tequila gets the drop on Wick and confronts him, but Tequila realizes that Wick really isn’t the bad guy, and that the two have more in common than they thought. During a shootout where Tequila gets caught in the middle between Wick and an army of foes, Wick saves Tequila’s life, and Tequila discovers admiration for a man he sees as a younger version of himself. The two then band together to defeat a common enemy (maybe it takes place in a hospital?).
Actually, this sounds pretty much like The Killer, which John Woo directed three years before Hard Boiled. So I guess just remake The Killer with Keanu Reeves in the role that Chow Yun-Fat originally played (the assassin) and have Chow Yun-Fat be the cop that Danny Lee played. There, done. Am I a Hollywood producer now? — Jeff Lombardi